Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
