so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
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