the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
