she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
