i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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