I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
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Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
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I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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