I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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