we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
