I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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