So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
