I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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