I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
