how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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