There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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