Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This is the high leading the old right now
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
