I want to have your abortion
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
