Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
