My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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