you didnt know i had herpes?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
