I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize