We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
