Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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