remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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