K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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