he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
