:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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