I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
