Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize