Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
