omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
