he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
