Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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