In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
