Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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