apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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