They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Randomize
