We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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