Quick, to the slutcave!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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