no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
