i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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