The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
pray to the hookup gods
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
