When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
