dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
