were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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