It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
