I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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