It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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