You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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