if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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