And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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