It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My vagina just recognized that song.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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