Buhtt sex?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
