i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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